Hiding from my own judgment was my great skill early in life. It seemed as though I was hiding from the world around me. But the deeper truth is, I was just trying to escape my own belief.

       A belief that haunted me and drove me to appear acceptable to others. Not showing my feelings or vulnerability contained me in a world of denial.

       Anxiety and depression covered most of my younger life, unseen to those around me. In my early thirties a willingness for change developed, and through a mystical experience, a door was opened.

       This door led to a search for something I didn’t understand. Peace fell on me in the midst of my darkest moment. How is this possible? Was this simply a change in chemistry, or neurological status? The effects faded in the following days and set me on a course to find this peace once more.

       Unknown to me at the time, what happened was a letting go of identification. Stepping away from all the conditioning and the beliefs that came with it. Like a stopper being pulled, all the thoughts of myself left. What remained was a spacious feeling of comfort.

       From that day on I was driven to reclaim this comfort, so strange to my normal life experience. My search didn’t find peace, but it did reveal it to be what I am, as I am. These words are not new in the world of spiritual conquest. But they are quite meaningless as an idea. My understanding wasn’t the doorway to peace, letting go is, and remaining free of attachment. Reality dawned on me as my conditioned identity faded.

       The comfort to be as I am, stands as all I could ever want. To me this represents freedom, and a fullness of life. Where self expression meets a world full of wonder, and infinite possibility…