Time is an interesting experience. Or is it just an interesting idea? All the wisdom teachers say it has no existence, and yet here we are, feeling like it does. It’s difficult to argue the fact that we can only ever experience this moment. So what’s the deal? The deal is, the sensation of time is created by identification. No doubt this will not be easily accepted. Here is how it works. Through the circumstances and energetic effects of being born into this world, there is a movement towards identity creation. I have went into the reasoning behind this in previous blogs, so I’m going to stay with the how, rather than the why. This identity creation starts slow at first and rapidly accelerates as you get older. Many factors play a part in it’s development. How harsh your conditioning is, or traumatic events and so on.
By age twelve or so, identity formation is fully self supporting and time is a felt reality. Through the conditioning process you form an identity from the surrounding input of already conditioned parents and other family. Your name, physical attributes and behaviors. You simply take it all in as fact and begin to build. Here is a key point that needs to be clear. As this, at first fragile identification is being formed, it’s repeated and supported all around you. You are this, you are so good at that, and need improvement on these things. Over and over the conditioning is repeated. At the same time the undeveloped mind of a child that is still and quiet begins to take the reigns. What takes the reigns is mind movement that begins to hold up the developing identity.
This mind process starts supporting the conditioning through the use of retrieving memory. It will also start to use future anticipation as a welcoming support, but also as a potential threat. Little by little the identification engine begins to turn. Collecting more and more information, it becomes very solid. Probably around age seven things are well underway and the rejuvenating process is self supporting. Continuous mind activity in every moment checking in with the self-creation. There has to be a continuous motion otherwise just like an engine it stops. Memories are the fuel of this engine and future projection is the potential tune-up or modification. This tune up can be seen as an enhancement or a threat of destruction. Each moment there is a continuous up-holding and threat assessment.
Survival holds this created identity securely in place through your absolute belief, I am this identity and my whole existence depends on it. This intense need to keep this identity is very easy to prove to yourself. Simply sit still and try to stop thinking. This is a very unconscious engine that is running as well as how it’s held in place. It’s also what causes all your trouble. This is why a few drinks have such a relaxing effect. It quiets and slows this engine. Your false identity fades and the underlying feelings of unworthiness float away. You feel a freedom from the torcher of holding up something that isn’t true. It’s quite a difficult thing to maintain, because its only foundation is thought, and it doesn’t hold up well in the ever changing world.
Letting go of this false identity is difficult because it’s pitted against your own survival mechanism. You hold on for your own survival, misinterpreting it as your true reality. The torcher of this will bring you to a potential willingness to let go, with a strong desire for freedom. Instinctively we know something isn’t right and we try to correct it through worldly success or some kind of specialness. It’s a futile effort because the problem is a deeply held belief that’s supported by a child’s mind. Nothing in the world can give any lasting peace because it can’t offset a feeling. This feeling of unworthiness was put in place before any conceptual ability or reasoning skills were developed. So no amount of worldly success will affect the deep seated belief, because it’s held in place by a feeling in the hands of innocence.
Time is felt to be real because of continuous mind activity to uphold a false identity. It’s in this hanging on to the past and reaching for the future, a sensation of time is felt. It’s easy enough to prove to yourself that times apparent existence, is only mind activity. Emotional content changes its imagined existence by way of felt duration. Enjoyment fly’s by, while discomfort is like a slow burn. Mind is times engine, and memory of past, and future projection is its fuel, held in place for survival. This engine can stop suddenly through a shock, extreme pain or threat of death. It’s complete discontinuation requires a very deep desire for freedom from it. When you come to a place of willingness to do anything for freedom, this opens the door for a process of letting go. Not easy, and it’s unique to every individual. It’s a divinely lead path that’s carried out in concert with your willingness and tolerance for the process. My only advise is to begin to see yourself in a kinder light. Have some compassion and understanding, knowing it’s well deserved. Your ever increasing willingness and trust in the process will pave the way to freedom. Just know there are many times you will feel things aren’t going well. This is the most difficult part. It’s in these difficult times that the most progress is made. Keep the faith and know you are surrounded by love, though it may not seem like it. You are eternal and nothing can threaten the reality you are. This process will challenge that in everyway, and this is where true appreciation and value for your true reality is realized. Everyone has freewill, and it won’t be tampered with. Open your heart to freedom and you will have it…